Monday, January 31, 2011

i need to sleep more...

So, it is official, I don't sleep enough.

How do I know this?  Not because of moodiness or sleepiness or anything like that, nope.  Because of stupidity.

Yup.  Stupidity.

I brush my teeth in the shower, and, this morning, when I went to brush my teeth, I put my toothpaste onto my razor, instead of my toothbrush.

Guys, this doesn't even make sense!  My toothbrush is green and white and my razor is orange and white.

Let's just be glad that I noticed BEFORE I tried to brush my teeth.

Also, I have decided to push back my trip to Seoul until my second last weekend here.  It's Lunar New Year this week, and I'm super worried about how busy it will be in Seoul, so, for the sake of my anxiety, I have decided to hold off.  It's probably a good decision.  I don't want to get there, freak out, and then spend my weekend in my hotel room.  Also, more planning time this way.

I went to pay my bills today, and I thought my landlord was asking about me having a cat AGAIN.  A few months ago, I went through this whole thing where when I went to pay my bills he was all "koyangi?  KOYANGI??" and pointing up towards my apartment.  I kept insisting that I didn't have a cat "koyangi, ahneeo!" but he wasn't having any of it.  He ended up calling my co-teacher to get her to tell me that I can't have a cat, and I had to get her to call him and assure him that I don't have one.

Then, when I lost my power last week, he had to come into my apartment to try and figure out what was going on.  Before he came in, he started up with the friggin' koyangi, again!  I was pretty sure that, after rummaging around my apartment, that he had satisfied himself with the fact that I clearly DO NOT have a cat.

So, fast forward to today.  I went to pay my bills, and I thought he was asking me about a cat AGAIN.  So, I was all "koyangi, ahneeo," and then he shook his head, and wrote down another word on my bill, and started listing English speaking countries.  THANK GOD this time he was asking me when I was going back, and not if I had a friggin' cat.  I would have lost my shit.

I also bought some really awesome konglish shirts today.  They're nothing special to look at, and, like most of the clothes in Korea, are made one size fits all, so they're ill fitting and baggy in weird places... like the armpits.

Seriously guys, the armpits.

I don't know how they make these clothes, but they're all baggy and weird in the armpit area, and the rest of the shirt, and then the sleeves that they attach are really tights.  WHAT is going on here, Korea??  It doesn't really matter, because they will just be lazy day around the house shirts back in Canada.  at least they're comfy.

Anyways, the grey shirt says, in giant white block letters: "JUROR RUN AWAY FROM MURDERER"

And, the black shirt that I bought says: "purple" in weird white swirly letters, and then, on the poorly placed pocket it says in bold white block letters "COLD WITH LIKE COLORS IF NEEDED DRY CLEAN OR HAND WASH"

The "purple" one just fits like an ill fitting sweater, at least.

I also bought a cute owl necklace, and a leaf necklace.  I would take pictures, but my camera battery is dead and currently on the charger.

I added Disqus to my blog to take care of all of the comments.  I wanted something where I could reply to each comment without making a big huge long reply, so, I hope you guys don't mind using it... 'cause it's making me happy!

Toodles <3

Oh!  OH!!  I almost forgot!!!

Today is my one year blogaversary!  Hurray!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

potentially ugly...

I re-designed my bog (in case you guys didn't notice... bahaha).

Either way, it is potentially ugly, which means, I probably like it.

I wish I knew how to do computery things so that I could make it all pretty and whatnot... but, my computer experience only goes as far as making a website about fish with old Microsoft Office when I was like 15.


Srsly guys, a website about tropical fish.  Different types, how to take care of them.

Yeah, you only wish you were as cool as my bad self back when I was 15.

And then it all got deleted when I accidentally erased the entire My Documents folder on our computer.


Anyways, let me know how you feel about the new look.  If you think the ugly is, in fact, endearing.

Also, tell me if it's hard to read.

I kind of got overwhelmed when I went to choose the font because BLOGGER HAS NEW FONT CHOICES!

Basically, I was in font heaven, and I got all giddy and excited.

I wish that was a joke.  Really, though... fonts make me happy, for some reason.  Especially when blogger decides to give me more than six to choose from.

Also!  I ordered some new plugs last night... I'm so excited!

Basically, I had to have these lovelies:

And then I found these two, and decided that I wanted some more stone plugs:

I discovered the link on someone's blog last night, but, I'm a total jerk, and I forgot whose blog it was.  Total jerk, or, I was trying to catch up on the 150 or so blog posts I was behind on, and sometimes I forget.  Which I did.  Catch up, that is... and, forget, I guess.

Now, I just have to wait for my return to Canada in order to enjoy them.

Anywhoodles, I have heartburn from the pizza I had for lunch/breakfast... so I'm going to go finish my movie and eat some Tums.  Ohhhh, the interesting life that I lead.

Toodles <3

Saturday, January 29, 2011

it's a hoot...

Srsly guys, I need to stop with the owl jokes.

Anywhoodles, I took some pictures of my new ouchies.  They are all red and swollen in the pictures, so, obviously, they're really sexy.  At least they're not bleeding anymore!

You guys are loving this, aren't you?

Oh, hilarious little story from my tattoo adventure last night!

After my tattooist finished up, she called in the male tattoo artist to check out her work and take some pictures.  As I was sitting up, he pointed at my septum ring and said "like Koi fishie!"

I had to stop and think to myself for a second... Koi fish have septum rings?

I then realized, that he was talking about the dangly bits that Koi have by their noses.

I've been compared to a bull numerous times, as a result of the septum ring... never a Koi, though!

Decidedly, Koi are much more beautiful than bulls, so, next time someone compares me to a bull, I'm going to correct them... "A bull?  More like a Koi!  Assface..."

Anyways, back to the pictures of my new tattoos, sorry that I am so blindingly white:

AAAAAND, this last one, just because it makes me feel like a total badass...

Well, as much of a badass as you can be whilst sporting a big bright eyed owl on your arm, I guess...

Hurray for owls!

Toodles <3

Friday, January 28, 2011


So, thank you for all of the supportive comments, I really appreciated them, and I will go back and respond to them right after I write this.  You guys are the nicest readers in the whole darn world <3

I would like to say that I DID in fact force myself to go to Gwangju the next day!

Aaaaddddd... I may have rewarded myself with an over-priced MAC lipstick, in Russian Red.  I've been looking for a super matte red lipstick for a while now... and this one is everything I've been looking for.  I'm so excited about it!

So, getting to MAC wasn't so bad, Shinsegae department store is attached to the bus terminal.  I hate going in there, though... it's all mountains of Louis Vuitton purses and stuff.  I was afraid I was going to knock over a stack of something classy and that it was going to get a smear on it or something and then I'd have to buy the whole stack of whatever I knocked over.  Diamond encrusted Dior coats or something.

After that, I wanted to go to shinae to the shopping area to buy some Christmas gifts and stuff for my family.  There was a line up of taxi drivers outside of the bus terminal, all standing around and smoking.  The one with the best English, I assume, approached me as I walked towards the taxi stand, and asked me where I needed to go.  I told him I wanted to go the shinae YMCA, and he giggled, and told me that the way I said shinae was very beautiful.  Uh, thanks?  That's kind of a funny compliment, haha.  The taxi driver that ended up driving me to shinae asked me what I was doing, and then he said "dress shopping?"  Which, I wasn't, but I told him I was anyways, because it was just easier that way.  Then he asked me if I was going car shopping?  Uh, no, thanks, not in Korea, you people drive like maniacs.

I bought two cute shirts at UNIQLO, a cute white one with black stripes, and a black one.  Actually, they're the same skirt, just in different colours.  They're three tiers and kinds shortish and have little dangley fringey things on each layer.  I don't do them much justice by describing them, and I can't find them on the website... oh wells.  AAAALLLLL I know is that they're cute.

I also got my Swarovski fish keychain fixed.  One of his tail fins fell off a while ago, and I was super sad, so, I took him back to the place where I bought him, and got him fixed.  Hurrah!  Back to his cutey full fishy goodness,

I bought some gifts for my family, wandered around a bit more, had a chicken sammich for dinner, and then came back to Yeosu.  I was pretty damn proud of myself for going!

Oh, and I went to the stationery store in the bus terminal and bought myself a whole bunch of cute letter writing paper.  I'm going to start writing letters again, damnit!

Thusly, I have decided that I will tackle Seoul next week.  I am slightly freaked out at the prospect, and feeling a bit panicky, but I've already been making reservations and plans, and I plan on buying the train tickets today or tomorrow, so, I'm kind of making it so that I don't have the chance to say no and back out... on myself?

Last night, I got my tattoos done!

I didn't end up getting my back tattoo, I decided to get my owls done that I have been lusting after for the past year or so:

My original sketches were back in Canada... somewhere, so I just redrew them and changed them up a bit.  I got them done on the inside of my upper arm, right above the elbow crease.  It was painfulllll, but totally worth it, they turned out so cute!  I love them!  They took two hours each, and the lady who did them did such an amazing job.  I'll take a picture later!

Anywhoodles, that's it for now.  I'm going to go catch up on my blog readingggg.

Toodles <3

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

i got, desperate desires and unadmirable plans...

I don't know how to deal.

I will admit that to you, dear reader.

I constantly feel as though my world in caving in on me, like I have fluid in my lungs, and, as I go through my day, I am slowly drowning.  Slowly and painfully drowning, and no one knows it, but me.

It is Wednesday, now, and I haven't left my house since last Friday.

It would be so easy to say that this is due to laziness.  God, I wish this was due to laziness.  At least if this was due to laziness, I could just sit here and be ashamed of myself for that and then do something about it.  Laziness is easy to overcome, you just tell yourself to stop being lazy and do what you want to do.

I'm up by nine thirty every day.  I brush my teeth, I get dressed, I put on makeup most days, I brush my hair... and then it stops there.

It doesn't stop there all the time, some days I'm totally fine, I feel awesome, and I just leave and go do my thing.

I'm not afraid of people, hell, people who have worked with me know that I refuse to take bullshit from anyone.  I can be a total loudmouth, and I have no problem walking up to any customer and striking up a conversation.

I'm not afraid of public spaces.

I don't know what I'm afraid of.

Is it fear?  I don't think it's fear or a phobia... I just feel like I'm being crushed.  You know, when people say it feels like there's an elephant sitting on their chest?  It feels like that.

I can't breathe.

I can't make myself put on my jacket and shoes.

I can't make myself undo the three locks on the door.

I can't make myself leave.

What the fuck is holding me back?  Why is there this imaginary net in front of my door that holds me back?

I make plans, in my mind.

It's 1:30, and, today I wanted to go to the old downtown, take my tattoo design to the studio where I'll be getting it done, to make an appointment, and to get coffee and ride around on the bus listening to my iPod.  I am clearly dressed and ready to go, and I have been since 11 am:

So, why am I blogging instead of doing?  I have no idea.

That's my front door in the picture.  I can take a picture in front of it... but will I actually go outside today?

I don't know.

I want to say yes.

But, right now I'm thinking of leaving, and my heart is pounding, and I'm having trouble breathing.

There's worse days.  Sometimes, I think about leaving, and I start bawling.

This only happens to me on days where I don't have routine.  On days when I work, I'm fine, I get up, get ready, and do my day, no anxiety, I'm fine.  Obligations.

It's the days off, where I have no ACTUAL obligations, that I have trouble.  Unless, I make plans with someone, then it's obligation that makes me go out my front door.  Do I still feel panicky?  Yes, but, I go.

I've always had anxiety.  I don't know what my anxiety is about, though.  It feels like I'm anxious just about being alive.  It's the "what ifs."  What if _____________ happens?

It holds me back from experiencing everything the way I wish I could.

I have all of this vacation time, and I could be going places, and doing things, but, I'm not... because I can't do it alone.

Granted, travel outside of Korea would have been hard to organize, because they kept changing my winter camp dates and length, so, I couldn't book a plane ticket or arrange for visas to travel.  But... would I have gone?

Simply put, no.

I can't.  I just can't travel alone.  The "what ifs" take over, and I feel sick, and panicky, and I can't do it.  I'm even afraid to go to Seoul by myself.  I want to, so badly, but every time I think about it, all of this anxiety builds up, and I start to feel sick, and I start to worry, and I feel like I can't.  And then I won't.

I don't even know how I moved to Korea.

I want to take a day trip to Gwangju tomorrow.  By myself.  Go shopping, buy MAC lipstick, get gifts for my family and friends back home, because I'm leaving in a month.

I've been going back and forth about it for days.

I can doooo it, I'll be fineeeeeee... it's no big deal, take a bus there, Shinsegae department store is attached to the bus terminal, MAC is in the department store, and then take a taxi to the shopping area, find cool stuff, take a taxi back to the bus terminal, and come home.  I should be FINE.

I'm going to get lost.  I'm going to get on the wrong bus.  I'll get into the taxi and tell the driver where I need to go, and none of them will understand me and I'll be stuck in Gwangju.  I'll get lost.  Something bad is going to happen.

It's a constant back and forth, and it never stops.

Will I or won't I?  Who knows...

I would just like to say that I actually DID venture out of the house today.  I psyched myself up at around 2:30, and took that as a sign to dash for the door.

It's like I have to trick myself into leaving, how ridiculous is that?

Anyways, I went to the tattoo parlour, and rang the bell, twice, but no one answered, I felt stupid standing there and waiting, like maybe someone was judging me.  So, I left, got coffee from the coffee shop that has really flirty and cute barrista men (what the eff do you call a male barrista?), which I subsequently spilled a bit of on a girl on the bus when the driver slammed on the brakes and then the gas right after, throwing everyone around, resulting me crying "Mianhamnida!  Miandhamnida!" over and over again while offering her friggin' crumpled receipts because I didn't have tissues.  Felt like a total asshole for the next hour, and was on the verge of tears.  Rode the bus to the end of its route, got on another bus, which I've taken a million times before, but it had changed its route recently, I guess.  Had a mini panic attack that I was going to Dolsan Island or something.  The bus went in the right direction, and I went back to Shinae, walked back to the tattoo parlour, made an appointment for Friday at six, walked back to the bus, had a group of little girls ask me if I was pregnant--thanks : ( stupid ill fitting winter jacket--and then went home.

Yes, I just randomly ride the bus.  It gives me a chance to be out of the house and listen to my iPod and just be moving.

My fear of doing things, and my horrifyingly bad depression that I've been experiencing for the past while have made me decide that I'm going to find a doctor and get some meds when I get back to Canada.  I can't cope with this bullshit anymore.  And, while the therapy I've been enrolled in for the past while has been helping me cope with what I went through with the evil ex, it's been doing VERY LITTLE to help me deal with my depression and anxiety.

I've been on meds twice for depression.  The first time was fresh out of high school, just as I was starting university.  I will admit that I was not the best at adhering to the recommended way of taking said medications.  Basically, if I felt okay, I didn't take them, if I felt not so good, I took them... if I felt really shitty, I took two of them.  Yeah... not a good plan.

The second time, I was in a horrible pit of depression in the midst of my relationship with the evil ex.  When I told him that I had gone to the doctor to get anti-depressants, he mocked me, called it pathetic and weak.  He then used it as a way to insult me when we would get in arguments.  I would find out he was cheating, or that he had lied about something, or that he was sneaking around, or whatever, we would get into a fight, and he would grab my bottle of pills and fling them at me, telling me to take more of them, to take ten of them "because they're obviously not fucking working."  Because it was the pills that weren't working, because I had something wrong with me... not him, he was fine, it was obviously me and the pills, that's why I was so upset about him cheating.

So, I clearly have not had the greatest experiences with anti-depressants... but I'm at the point where something needs to be done.  I can't deal with this constant anxiety and depression.

Hopefully I go to Gwangju tomorrow.  I'll see how I feel in the morning, I guess.  Fingers crossed, loves.

Anyways, it's 12:30, so, I think I'm going to watch a movie and fall asleep.

Thanks for listening to my bitch fest.

Toodles <3

Monday, January 24, 2011

adventures in customer service...

If there is one thing that I have learned from working in retail, it is that I'm not taking crap from people anymore.

I attract psychos at work.  I don't know what it is about me, but I really do.  Maybe it's because I try to be so nice to everyone, maybe it's because I dye my hair "crazy" colours... but, I attract psychos.  And, sometimes, it is really overwhelming.

So, here for your enjoyment, are some of the strangest stories of people that have approached me that I can recall.

I have organized them chronologically by job.  Not necessarily in the order that they happened, just, by job.

This list is by no means comprehensive.  There have been many more crazies than just these ones.

Let's start with the time that I worked as a cashier at the local CO-OP in the small town that I grew up in.  I only worked there for a few months, but it is definitely where the crazy began.

Bread Guy

There was a grumpy ass old man that lived in town.  Everyone hated him.


They even warned me about him when I started there.  Previous cashiers had even refused to provide service to him when he came into the store.

Apparently, he had previously managed the store, had been let go, and his wife had left him... something to that effect.  Anyways, he was ornery and always a douche hat.  He always had something to complain about, and when he didn't have something to complain about, he just outright insulted me... like the day when I was super nice to him, everything went through perfectly, nothing went wrong, so, as he was walking towards the door, he turned around and looked at me and said "yeah, well, you look like shit today," and then he left.

Not only that, but, one day, he came in with expired coupons for bread.  Not only were they expired, but, he was also trying to purchase AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BRAND OF BREAD.  When I refused to honour his coupons, he got entirely pissed off, and threw the load of bread at my head, and then stormed out of the store.

He was a real joy to deal with.

Axe Lady

Our store sold not only groceries, but farming supplies as well.  We had a section of axes in hardware.

One day, a lady came in with about seven screaming kids.  They ran around the store, completely out of control, causing all sorts of trouble, which their mother did not seem to care about as she haughtily strode around the store in her big fur coat.

After she finished her shopping, she went through my till.  At which point, she looked me dead in the eye, and told me that I need to talk to my manager about something for her.

Normally, fine, whatever... I'll listen to people complain.  But this woman... this woman was utterly condescending, she spoke to me with an air of arrogance... she clearly was not one of us "country folk."

Anyways, her complaint was that, while her kids were running around and screaming like a pack of wolverines, one of them apparently picked up and axe from one of the shelves and chased her other kids around with it.

Ummm... yeah.  This is a farm store.  We clearly stock farm supplies AND groceries, we have never had a problem with any of our "country folk" kids chasing one another with axes... maybe you shouldn't be a lazy ass neglectful parent and you should supervise your kids... or teach them not to chase their siblings, or other people, with axes.

Now, onwards...

I worked at a long term care facility for the elderly after I worked at the CO-OP.  I have a lot of interesting stories from there, but they don't really fall under the theme of this post... maybe I'll write about my experience there at a later time.

After that, I worked at a 7-Eleven for a week and a half, an IGA for four hours (which I didn't get paid for, they tried to stick me in the deli, and all of the machines had OHEMGEE YOU WILL DIE sort of warnings written on them, and I was terrified and it smelled funny, so I lied and told them that I took another job, and then I ran away), and then I worked as a cashier at Wal-Mart for two months.  Ahhh, Wal-Mart, what a HORRIBLE job.

Creepy Cowboy

I worked at the Wal-Mart in Camrose, which is this little hick city, and, every year, they hold a country music festival called Big Valley Jamboree.  This is possibly the WORST TIME EVER to work in a cheap ass store like Wal-Mart.  I was working a bajillion hours a day, they consistently forgot about my breaks, people were lined up for miles, because we were understaffed, the customers were muddy and stinky, I was overworked and grumpy... and usually hungover.

The worst part is, the excessiveness with which people proposition you.  It never failed.  Every person that came to your till was either trying to steal something, or they were going to proposition you for sex.

Case in point, Creepy Cowboy.

Creepy Cowboy came to my till after a particularly long string of drunk, smelly, dirty, angry customers.  I was grumpy, he was creepy, it was not a good combo.  Creepy Cowboy's purchases consisted of three large bottles of Gatorade, and an economy pack of Trojan Magnums (probably wishful thinking).

I rang through his purchases, told him his total, at which point in time, he leaned across my till, nodded towards the box of condoms and fake Alberta drawled: "Heyy, pritty laydee... ya gon' be headin' over to the fair grouns later? You look me up, see..." and then winked at me.

I was not in the mood... and not just because I am repulsed by cowboys and fake cowboys.

Luckily, my supervisor was right behind me, waiting to put change in my till, and basically told him what he could do with his family pack of condoms.

Red Bull Lady

Red Bull Lady was my first experience with what people are like in the most desperate stages of drug withdrawal.

I was walking back from my break, minding my own business, when a panicked woman ran up to me, grabbed me by the arm and yanked me as close to her as possible.


She asked me where the Red Bull was.  I told her that it would either be in the drink aisle, or in the refrigerated cases by the tills.

She screamed at me that she checked all of those places.

She then demanded that I check the back.

I'm not sure if everyone here is aware of what the back of a Wal-Mart looks like, but I can assure you that it is not the vast world of where the actual stock lies that most people assume it is.  In fact, there is little to no stock back there, because there is no storage back there, because stock comes in at night and is immediately put on the shelves.  When you demand that someone check the back, they go back there, stand there for a few minutes, and then come back and tell you that they didn't find anything back there.

That is because, when we tell you that we don't have a stock room, you don't believe us.  As much as I love fucking with customers, I have better things to do than lie to you about whether or not we have a stock room.

Red Bull Lady was having none of this.  Red Bull Lady was about to show her true crazy.

When I told her that we were out of Red Bull, she got incredibly still, looked me dead in the eye, and started SCREAMING AND WAILING, freaking out, yelling about how she needed her Red Bull... she threw an all out shit fit, and it must have looked to passersby like I had punched her in the face or something, the way that she was screaming.

I didn't know what to do, so I ran.

I have a tendency to run away from things that I don't understand.

I ran back to my till, and she followed me, screaming and crying.

I had to take her to a manager and get them to deal with her, because I didn't know what else to do.  I have no idea what the managers did to get rid of her... and I didn't really care, either.

Leather Guy

Oh, Leather guy... Leather Guy is where my experience with true creeps began.  It all started with you, you creepy weirdo.

Leather Guy only bought leather, and fake leather, and sewing supplies.  And he always looked for my till.


If I was going on break, and he saw me, he would ask me where I was going, wander the store until I finished my break, and then go through my till.  Leather guy was a little off in the "human interactions" scheme of things.

One day, whilst going through my till, he asked me if I ever wondered why he bought so much leather.  To be honest, I didn't care to know.  He was really off, and I didn't want to find out that he made leather upholstered couches stuffed with people bits or something.

I gave a kind of uninterested "uhh... sure."

At this point, he got very enthusiastic.  He informed me that he lives in his mother's basement, and that he makes fetish wear.


He THEN informed me that he photographs his own work, as well, and asked me if I would like to model his creations for him.

Uh, right.  I may have been young, but I knew better than to accept an invitation from a creepy dude who has been stalking me for the past few months to try on home made fetish wear in his mother's basement while he photographs me.

No thanks.

My next place of employment was a bookstore in a run down mall.  You would THINK that bookstores would attract intelligent and possibly even non-creepy people.  WRONG.

"Stupid Girl" Lady

There was this old lady with a walker, who seemed to not really need the walker that used to come in the store all the time, and she would sit on her walker and pull herself around the store with her feet.  she was ALWAY grumpy, and, one day I made the mistake of deciding to try and be nice and strike up a conversation with her.

It was a particularly hot summer day, so when I asked her how she was doing today, she replied that she was too hot.  I concurred, and told her that, when I left the house that morning, I had made the mistake of wearing my jacket.  I laughed, she became angry.

At this point, she got all huffed, and started yelling at me:

Well, aren't you a stupid girl!  Don't you ever think, you stupid girl!  Blah blah blah stupid girl!  Stupid girl!  Stupid girl!  Stupid girl!

I was in shock, and I walked away from her after the first mention of how I was a stupid girl.  I could hear her yelling after me about what a stupid girl I was as I walked back to my till.

I still wasn't really used to how horrible people could be to sales people, and I won't deny that I was on the verge of tears at this point.

I then had to ring her through my till.  When I asked her if she had one of our discount cards, her response was "of course I do, you stupid girl."

After she left, I started crying.  Serves me right for wearing a jacket in the summer... I guess?

Ring Guy

Working in an entirely dead mall was ridiculously boring sometimes.  You had to develop ways to entertain yourself.  Sometimes that involved making paper airplanes and throwing them out into the mall, or shooting paper clips into the mall with elastics, sometimes it involved staring at passersby and trying to get them to make eye contact.

It was on an eye contact day that I ran into trouble.  Trouble in the form of Ring Guy.

So, he made eye contact, and then came into the store.  Made idle chit chat, for wayyy too long, talked about his girlfriend, asked me if I had a boyfriend, which I did, etc. etc.

Then he kept coming in.  Every time he came in, his relationship with his supposed girlfriend was apparently getting worse and worse.  He would come in and talk and talk, vent about his supposed girlfriend (who, my co-worker informed me that he believed to be fake), and I would listen, because I was too nice.  He would talk for too long, and then buy some fifty cent trinket.

This went on for a few months, through Christmas, which was way too busy for him to just be hanging out, but he still did.  His visits became more frequent, it was weird, and suddenly his girlfriend had supposedly had enough, and left him.

Then, one day, he got even more awkward.

He came in to the store, and he had a super weird smile on his face.  Something was up.  He walked to my till and put his hand on the counter, told me he had something for me, and pushed his hand towards me.  He lifted up his hand, and, I shit you not, there was a ring box... with a diamond ring in it.


I was entirely freaked out, I shoved the box back towards him and told him that there was no way that I could keep it, that I didn't want it, that he needed to take it back.

He tried to convince me that I needed to have it.  He knew I had a boyfriend.  This was entirely awkward.

Eventually, he left.  I was totally weirded out.  Thank GOODNESS he never came back again.

Kite Runner Lady

Kite Runner lady had supposedly called in earlier in the day and talked to another employee and asked him to put a book behind the till for her.  Unfortunately, it didn't get done, so when she came in, I had nothing to give her, and she couldn't remember the name of the book.

She immediately became irate and annoyed, and started yelling about how she didn't want to have to walk all the way back to her truck to get the name of the book.  She then demanded that I figure it out.  Apparently my co-worker had told her that we had "a million copies" of the book.

So, I suggested that she check the best seller wall, because the books that are the most popular are the ones we have the most copies of.

She started yelling about how it wasn't a best seller, and that it was for her daughter's class, and then told me that I needed to tell her every book that we had multiple copies of in the store.

Uh, are you kidding?  I work in a book store, we have multiple copies of every book.

I suggested that she take a walk around the store and look at all of the books that we have facings of.  If we have a lot of copies of the same book, we will turn the book so that you can see the cover, and not just the spine.

She started getting more and more pissed off that I basically couldn't telepathically figure out what book she was looking for, and, really I had offered all of the most likely suggestions for her.  I had even walked around the teen fiction section with her, because that is where she insisted the book would be, pointing at various facings of books, asking her if the titles rang a bell.  She had already been in the store freaking out on me for longer than it would have taken her to get the title of the book from her truck.

Eventually, because she refused to take my suggestions, she had to go to her truck.

She came back, fuming, telling me that the book she was looking for was The Kite Runner.

The Kite Runner.

Had she TAKEN my suggestion to look at the bestseller wall, she would have noticed that, right there on the wall, we had about a hundred copies of the damn book.  I pointed at the bestseller wall, and informed her that it had been right there all along.

By this point, I had had enough of her yelling at me, and I will admit that I was incredibly irritated and snippy with her at this point.  Because, really, she had been YELLING at me since she got in the store.

I was telling my co-worker what was going on when she and her daughter walked over.  Her daughter, apparently, did not appreciate the sarcastic tone with which I was telling my co-worker about the situation, and she started yelling at me as well... it was when she screamed at me that I supposedly need better customer service skills that I lost my shit.

"Excuse me?!" I screamed, "I need better customer service skills?!  You and your mother need better human being skills!  Just because you're a goddamn customer, doesn't mean you have the right to treat the person who is trying to help you like shit, especially when none of the situation is her fault, and ESPECIALLY when she has been very calmly trying to help you and your mother find what you're looking for for the past half hour while you act like total assholes for the entire time!"

By this point in time, my co-worker had called mall security (I shit you not), and the security guards had arrived.  We both told the security guard what had happened, and, after I finished my side of the story, they decided that they should both be escorted from the mall, and were politely asked to not return.

They didn't have a chance to buy their book.

After this, I briefly worked with a national phone company, doing 411.  Let me just say, be nice to your 411 operator.  Many people chose to not list their numbers, and many businesses choose to not list their numbers, as well, there's only so much that the operator can do to help you.  I didn't last long as a 411 operator, because people are truly terrible.  I lost a lot of my faith in humanity working as a 411 operator.  I had one woman scream at me that she didn't know why they hired retards to do this job (if you're looking for a Starbucks, try to know the general area that it's in.  When you do 411 for an ENTIRE country, you don't know where everything is, and when you tell me it's the one beside the bank, it does fucking nothing to help me), I had people proposition me for phone sex... I had to deal with it all.  Mostly, though, the people were awful, they were rude, they were utter assholes with no souls who didn't care that the voice on the other end of the line was actually a person with feelings.  Basically, I spent most of my days being screamed at and being called horrible things, while I spent most of my shift crying, resulting in me becoming so stressed out that I became incredibly ill and had to quit for my own physical and mental health.  Be nice to the person on the other end of the phone.

The next place I worked at was the Home Depot, in the paint department.  I actually LOVED this job.  I loved working with paint and mixing colours all day long.  Were there things I hated about the job?  Yes.  But I still loved this job... and part of me thinks I will return to it when I go back to school in Canada as a part time job.

Firstly, let's get all of the sexual innuendos about working in a hardware store out of the way, because I heard them all every single day.

Yes, I know how to handle a stripper.

No, I don't want to show you everything I know about handling wood.

Yes, I do know my way around caulk, and no I don't want you to tell me how much you like a girl that can handle some good caulk.

The list goes on, just use your imagination.  Screw, hammer, nail, blah blah blah.

Now that we have that out of the way...

Creepy Camera Guy

Creepy Camera Guy appeared on a particularly busy day.  I don't know how long he was behind the back counter for, but I was working by myself, and I didn't notice him until after all of my customers had been served and I turned to go to the back of the department to get some water.

There he was, Creepy Camera Guy...

Filming me.

I asked him if I could help him with something... and he informed me that, nope, he didn't need help with anything, that he was just filming me, because he found me interesting.

Uh... at least he was honest?

Sex Toy Guy

Sex Toy Guy was this very large man that came into the store one night when I was working alone.  He seemed a little weird at first, but I just figured that he was overly friendly.

He needed help picking paint colours for his apartment, which was apparently a basement suite, and he wanted colours to brighten the room.

I pulled and co-ordinated some suggestions for him, some bright warm tones... they weren't really masculine, but they weren't overly feminine, either.

Apparently, he thought different, and informed me that "his public" wouldn't approve.

I made the mistake of asking him "your public?"


Apparently, he owned a sex toy store, and his "public" were his customers.

At this point, he grabbed my arm, and asked me if I drove or rode the bus.  I told him that I take public transit.  He pulled what I assumed were his keys out of his pocket and he jabbed something on my arm...

Something vibratey.

Oh god.  It was one of those friggin bullet things... except key chain sized.

He told me to imagine how much more fun his little "toy" would make riding the bus.

Uh, excuse me?  I'm sorry, maybe it't just me, but, masturbating on public transit just ISN'T my thing.

I finished helping him, though beet red and totally uncomfortable the entire time, and he eventually went off to find his other stuff.

Five minutes later, he passed by my desk again, whistled, to get my attention, shouted "OHHHH DARLINGGGGGGG," pulled out his keys, buzzed his key chain toy twice for effect, and with the most gleeful smile said "CHRISTMAS IS COMINGGGGGGGGG!"

I spent the next few weeks horrified that he was going to come back into my work and bring me a key chain vibrator.

Penis Guy

Penis Guy is exactly what he sounds like. He is the pièce de résistance of customer service weirdos.

He came in one evening, looking for stain for the new floor he was putting in.  I suggested a few colours for him, and he decided to take a couple of samples and try them and see how they turn out.

He was really flirtatious, telling me that I was beautiful and that my hair colour made me glow (I had bleached my hair blonde and was letting it sit for a while before I put the blue dye in it).

I had to work at seven the next morning, and, as I was putting away stock, he came up to me and asked me for help again.

Apparently he had really liked the colour that I had picked for him, but he wanted something a little more red.

I took him over to the stains and started offering some more suggestions, even instructing him on how he could blend two colours together to make a colour that he would prefer.  

He finally decided on one that he thought would work, I found him a quart of it, and handed it to him.  While he was contemplating, he asked me to find him a few other possibilities.  So, while I looked, he started doing something with his phone.

This is normal, I was entirely used to people doing crap on their phones while I tried to help them.  What he did afterwards, was not normal.  

He asked me a question about the colour, and, when I turned to look at him, he was holding the quart of stain up at my eye level, holding his phone against the side, with the screen facing out.

He had a picture of his penis, at full attention, on the screen.

He had been looking through his phone, to find a picture of his dick that he had taken.

I immediately turned back towards the display and thought to myself "there was no way that was his penis..." and answered his question.

He asked me another question, and, because I'm STUPID, I turned and looked again.

DEFINITELY his penis.

At this point, I turned to walk away from him, quickly, but, he kept pace, with the quart and the phone held at my eye level, pressing the button that lights up the screen so that you can still see what you have on your screen; in this case, his doodle.  

Completely in shock, and unsure what to do, the only thing I could think to say to him was "uhhhh.... maybe you should try Minwax next..." and then hide behind the paint desk.

Yup, he showed me his wiener, I suggested he try a different brand of stain.

The rest of the day was filled with police reports, looking at security camera footage, my manager laughing in my face when I told him that it wasn't another employee, that it was a customer, and then him telling me that since it was a customer, there was nothing he could do about it, oh, and the story spreading rapidly around work, and me getting the nickname "Penis Phone."

It took like half a shift for me to stop being in shock, and to eventually find the humour in the situation.  I mean, come on, who gets accosted with pictures of a penis at seven in the morning?

He must have liked the stain colour I suggested, because I never saw him again.

So, there you have it, folks.  A small sample of a few of the crazies that I have encountered in my few years of working in customer service.  I'd be interested in hearing your stories, too!

Don't forget to read this post and get in on some free handmade goodness!

Toodles <3


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Saturday, January 22, 2011

everything that could go wrong...

Everything that could have gone wrong with my apartment officially has, short of it burning down.  But, now that I have said that, this place will probably burn down.

On Friday, I lost all of the power in my apartment.  Only my apartment.  No one else was affected.  Just me.

The stupid breaker blew, or something.  Every time we flipped the switch, it would flip itself back down.  My landlord changed it once.  It kept flicking back down.  He changed it a second time, after four phone calls to my co-teacher, and him rummaging through my apartment, unplugging everything and flipping all of the switches in my place.

After... three hours(?), and a lot of irritation, I finally had power back.

After which, I went to Alex's, drank an entire bottle of wine, ate amazing homemade chicken soup, played Scrabble and lost, watched TV, and spent the night making a communal painting that turned out really great.

It was a great night!  And, it definitely made up for the craptacular power outage debacle earlier in the day.

I was, however, really hungover on Saturday, and I spent the day in bed, watching movies and drawing.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Sometimes, I make a total ass of myself.

Here are a few of those instances!

I make an ass of myself when I meet musicians who I love and respect.  Like, a huge ass.

My favourite band for the past majillion years, has been Alexisonfire.  The first tattoo I ever got: lyrics from "Get Fighted" around my arm/wristular area.

As such, I have seen them every time they came to Edmonton--when I was in the country; they came twice, TWICE, since I've been in Korea.

I have had the oppourtunity to meet Dallas Green, Wade MacNeil, and George Pettit.

My meeting with Wade MacNeil went generally normal.  I went to see the Black Lungs (his side project) in concert, with the evil ex and my lovely sister.  After their set, I went to go potty, and I bumped into Wade (that's right, we're on a first name basis) on my way to the bathroom.  I told him that I loved his music, and that he did a great job on stage, yadda yadda yadda.  He gave me a hug, it was nice... haha.

Meeting Dallas Green was the first time that I made an ass of myself.  I had just gotten this haircut:

and I wasn't too sure how I felt about it, yet  (it looked a lot better all non-poofed up.  I hate when hairdressers put crap in my hair).  Shortly after getting the haircut, the evil ex wanted to go to a guitar shop on Whyte Ave.  So, we went there, and he looked at guitars for a kajillion hours.  Whilst wandering the store, I noticed a bunch of hipster looking boys, so, I, of course, decided to spy on them... the evil ex was getting his guitar porn in, why couldn't I stare at cute boys?

Then, the tattoos became recognizable...


I ran to the evil ex to get his opinion, he immediately dismissed me and told me it wasn't.  Then, I made him REALLY look.

He concurred, it was, indeed, Dallas Green!

I slowly made my way over to where he was making magical music on one of the guitars.

My breath was caught in my throat.

My palms were sweaty.

A million thoughts were racing through my head.

He glanced up at me and smiled...

Oh god!  He smiled at me!

Of all the things in the entire world I could have said or did, all I managed was to lift my right hand, do a finger wave, and squeak an awkward "hiiiii."

And then he sort of laughed.

And I ran away.

Correct.  I ran away.  MORTIFIED.

I thought that my embarrassment would have ended there, but, no.  The evil ex and I left the store, and, as we were walking down the street, who should walk by us, but DALLAS GREEN.  Who laughed, and waved, and said hi.


I am my own worst enemy.

Meeting George Pettit, in itself, was not actually an embarrassment.  In fact, I would even say it was successful.  It was the same concert that I went to with the evil ex and my sister.  George had played with the Black Lungs, as a bassist.

George is actually my musical idol.  As in, I am entirely in love with him.  I really REALLY RREEAALLLLYY wanted to meet him.

Also, we have the same birthday.

The concert ended, and we were on our way out.  I was sad that I didn't get to see George, so, I was making us dawdle.  When, who should appear... but GEORGE!


I had a normal conversation with him, I didn't feel nervous, he gave me a hug, we said goodbye, all seemed well.

Until the car ride home.

You know when you see footage of girls crying when they got to see the Beatles?

That was me.

I CRIED on the car ride home.

I didn't just cry, I BAWLED.  Outright BAWLED... for at least 20 minutes.

I am embarrassing.  I am also glad that my sister drove, and that we didn't take public transportation.  Because, that would have been even more embarrassing.

I embarrass myself a lot more often than that, in fact, I do it on a regular basis.  In entirely normal situations, too.


I was walking through Southgate Shopping Center with the evil ex, and there was this big area all sectioned off, for no apparent reason.  We were standing around it, speculating what it could be for.  I assume it was for renovations of the mural tiles or something, but we decided it would be better to think of ridiculous things.  During this particular speculation session, I got so excited about my next idea, that I yelled it out... and, I must tell you, that when I yell things when I'm excited, I sound like a ten year old who just got a new Barbie.

So, in the midst of my excitement, and to the resultant smirks of the people around us, I yelled out in the voice of an excited ten year old:


Yup.  Go me.

Another instance:

The evil ex and I were in a pet shop, looking at animals, as I so often conned him into doing, because I love imagining all the pets that I someday wish to own.  As we were wandering around the reptile room, there was one particular tank that a few people were crowded around.

It was above my eye level, so all I could see was a large shell, the shell of a really big turtle!

I, of course, became incredibly excited, and yelled out in my ten year old girl voice "IS THAT A TURTLE?!"

The people crowded around the tank turned, looked at the super excited twenty two year old woman that sounded like a ten year old girl, smirked, and wandered off.

Le sigh.

I'm good at what I do.

Anywhoodles.  I'm off to watch some more Six Feet Under.  In the forthcoming days you can possibly look forward to tales of psychotic landlords and the psychos that I attracted at my various places of employment.  Hurrah!

Oh, don't forget to read this post and snatch up some Pay it Forward goodness!


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

pay it forward...

I remember everyone doing this last year on Facebook, but everyone's stuff got snatched up so fast!  So, I never did it, because I pretty much suck.

But, here we are, friends!  The lovely Jess at Not your Average Joan of Archetypal Patterns is doing the Pay it Forward thingy, and, as I laid claim to a knitted cup cozy that I am super stoked for (I just need to figure out what colour I want it in, eee!), I am now required to offer up five crafty things that I will make for you, myself!


Pay it Forward 2011: I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment. They must in turn post this and send something they made to the first 5 people who comment. The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011. (What a great way to start 2011!!)

So, here are the five things for you to choose from that I am offering up:

1.  A hand decorated picture frame, maybe painted, maybe decoupaged, but will actually be really nice, I promise!  If you want it to have a theme (love, baby, etc) then let me know, and I'll get it worked out!

2.  Hemp jewelry.  I make hemp jewelry, and I do a nice job of it... don't judge me!  I can make you a keychain, necklace, bracelet, anklet, whatevs.  Just tell me the general measurements for what you want.

3.  A picture I make, either sketched or painted, I'll decide in the moment.  This one will be a surprise, mostly because I don't take direction well when it comes to art... as I learned in my art classes.  You can give me a general idea of a theme or something, but if you tell me you want something specific, like a shark riding a unicorn while holding an umbrella, you might not get it... I'm a temperamental artist.

4.  One of my black ink and paper tree drawings.  I really like drawing trees, I'm not entirely sure why.  I think it started in my Latin American History course in my second year of university.

5.  Another accessory, of the non-hemp variety.  Maybe a cluster necklace or a head band.

So... for some reason it was really hard to think of five things.  Lame.  Anyways, I promise that they will actually be really nice.  I put a lot of time and effort into the things that I do, I swear!

Also, if anyone decides that they want a four foot by three foot art school painting of a chubby naked old man, you would be doing me a favour.  Mostly because my parents are probably tired of me hiding it around the house in strange places to freak them out.

So, if you want to do the pay it forward thingy, claim one of my crafts, and then you have do to the crafty thing on your blog, too... or, if you're one of my readers that doesn't have a blog, don't despair, just post it on your Facebook or something!

Oh, and I'm waiting until I get back to Canada before I do this, I return on February 28... just because it's easier to be crafty in Canada.  Unless you claim one of the drawings, in which case, I may very well do it in the time off that I have before I leave, and send it to you from Korea!

So, if you want to participate, stake your claim, and I'll get busy doing this.

Toodles <3

backwards and forwards...

Today, I was thinking back to when I first arrived in Korea.  I was fucking terrified.  I had never left Canada before, I had never traveled alone before, I cried for the entire plane ride over... not just because I was scared, but also because I was leaving the people that I love behind.

The first month, I was afraid to do things.  I was afraid to go to the grocery store because I didn't know what things would be, I was afraid to go to the PC rooms because I didn't think I would know what to do and I thought that people would laugh instead of help... I was afraid to go wandering because I was even more afraid of getting lost.

If I got lost, how would I be able to get home?  I didn't speak the language, and I didn't even know how to say where I lived.

Then, I slowly got my footing.

I started figuring out what things were while I was shopping, I figured out bus routes, I learned how to tell taxi drivers where I needed to go, I became self sufficient.

This place has gone from feeling utterly terrifying, to feeling just like home.

Yes, things are still confusing.

Yes, I still get lost.

Yes, there is still a language barrier.

But, I know how to get around all of it... most of the time.  I can give people directions (albeit, bad ones.  I'm REALLY bad at directions, and, in Korea, you really only have landmarks to go on), I can tell people which bus they need to take to get most places, and I can usually figure where I need to go.  I can use enough Korean, or use enough hand signals, to get MOST things done, but, sometimes I do still need the help of my main co-teacher.

Going back to Canada is going to be weird.  I didn't experience much culture shock when I moved here, but I feel as though I will experience reverse culture shock when I move back to Canada... all of that English, all of the different rules, all of the different customs and norms.

One of the first things you notice when you live here, is the people who rummage through garbage and collect the cardboard.  Apparently, if you turn in cardboard, you can get money for it.  So, the little ajoshies and ajummas go around every morning, collecting cardboard to turn in for money.

The first weekend that I got to spend in Korea, I went for a walk to explore the neighbourhood around where I live.  Up ahead, I saw this ANCIENT woman, dragging a cart of cardboard.  As I got closer, she turned into a gate, and was struggling to get the cart up through the gate.  I walked over to her and tried to help her... until she freaked out on me and started shooing me away.

I was dumbfounded, I had no idea why she would be so angry about my help.

Then, I learned about the cardboard ajummas.

I think she thought I was trying to steal her cardboard!

I went to the old downtown to get pizza for dinner last night.  Alex, Annie, and I found this pizza place that makes pizza that tastes like the actual pizza from home!

I was craving ham and pineapple pizza, so, I decided that I would need to get it from there.  I knew that they had pineapple pizza, so, I assumed it must also have ham.

Looking at the menu, it had pineapple, ham, and something called "ogsusu."  I was so close to Canadian style ham and pineapple pizza... but this "ogsusu" was keeping me from achieving it!  So, I grew a pair, walked over to the waitress (a really incredibly sweet high school girl), and asked her what "ogsusu" was.



Why??  WHY??!!  Why must you put corn on pizza, Korea?!

I asked her if I could get my pizza sans corn, and, of course, she had to go and ask someone.

Thanks GOODNESS they said yes.  Ohhhh magical ham and pineapple pizza!

One of the nice things about Korea is that they give you free stuff!  I was offered a cup of coffee while I waited for my pizza.  I gratefully accepted, and was given a cup of hazelnut coffee and a bowl of sugar, and I was informed that it was very VERY hot.

I put in a bit of sugar, and decided that if I stirred the coffee really fast for a while that enough air would mix in into it, and it would cool it down.  I really didn't have enough time to cool the coffee, I could hear them taking my pizza out of the oven and putting it on the cutting board... I didn't want to offend them by not drinking the coffee that they made for me, so I decided to suck it up and drink it.

It HAD cooled down substantially, but it was still really hot.  I'm one of those people who lets their drinks cool down A LOT before they drink them, I don't like the feeling of burned taste buds.

That is exactly what the first sip did, it burned my damn taste buds... right off, I swear!

I realized, at this point in time, that that is what you masochists who drink their hot drinks hot do... you burn the CRAP out of your tongues to the point where it is numb and you can't feel the HORRIBLE PAIN anymore.

A day later, and my tongue still hurts.  I am not impressed.

I did, however, manage to finish my coffee, so as not to offend anyone... go me.

I finished my tattoo design tonight, I'm pretty excited:

I want to get it done at the top of my back, between the shoulder blades... hopefully within the next few weeks!

AAAAND, to finish off the day, I have been tagged for duck-duck-goose by Jennie from Too Hard to Find a URL.  You should check out her blog, she knows how much you hate lettuce, and has provided a yummy sounding recipe for a lettuce free salad that I can't wait to try!

So, apparently I must list fifteen things about myself, and then I must pass this on to five other bloggers.

1.  I grew up in a ridiculously tiny town, and my graduating class from high school consisted of thirteen people.

2.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, which can be beneficial, but it can also cause me a lot of problems and result in me getting hurt, because I'm such a people pleaser.

3.  I get frustrated really easy, and when I get frustrated, I cry.  I also cry when I'm mad.  I cry in a lot of situations, it can be REALLY embarrassing.

4.  Some of my biggest fears include raccoons, most bugs (spiders, butterflies, moths, ladybugs... the list goes on), the down escalator, clowns, the dark, being alone (lamest fear ever), among other things.

5.  The house I grew up in is haunted by a lady ghost and a boy ghost.  Ask my sister and my dad, they've also both seen the ghosts.

6.  We had theme days at my school, and, in junior high, we were forced to do an educational science video for our school district during crazy hair day. I had ridiculous amounts of sparkles and a toilet paper tube in my hair... I was also chosen to be one of the video's hosts, I really hope that video never actually left the school...

7.  I bought an xbox 360 specifically so I could play one game... the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.  This was after I had pre-ordered the game for PC and then been utterly devastated when I realized that my computer was JUST below the specs to be able to play it.

8.  I love the rain and cloudy days, and I don't like sunny days because I get sunburned really easily; spring and autumn are my favorite seasons, unless it's a rainy summer, but I will always hate winter.

9.  I am a terrible procrastinator, but I always get everything done on time.

10.  My passons include reading, writing, painting, drawing, cooking, movies, and music.

11.  I'm really gullible in the worst ways possible and some people have used that to their advantage; I like to think that people have the best intentions in mind and I prefer to think that they aren't lying to me or screwing with me to get what they want out of me, unfortunately that hasn't always been the case.

12.  I was in an abusive relationship that lasted for three years, that ended this summer.  It still causes me trouble to this day, and I have been in therapy for it for the past few months.  One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that he still keeps trying to get in contact with me, that he keeps trying to draw me back in.  My therapist believes that he sees me as a challenge, because I always fought back, because I wouldn't just lay down and take it, and the possibility exists that he may not ever stop trying to exhibit his complete and utter control over me.

13.  One of my biggest goals in life is to get married and have a family.  After the past three years, I have a constant nagging fear in the back of my mind that I will never be allowed to accomplish that, that I will spend the rest of my life alone, that I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve to be able to have this.

14.  My sister and I used to fight like cats and dogs when we were little.  We pretty much hated each other.  now, she's my best friend, and I miss her more than anything.  I especially miss our random midnight trips to Wal-Mart.

15.  I'm going to go back to school in September to get an after degree in education.  Growing up, I always wanted to be a teacher, but, in the back of my mind, I kind of always wanted to be a tattoo artist... and I still kind of want to.

So, here are the five bloggers that I will tag:

My friend, Natasha, from Lolita Lemon.  She's a really great girl that I met in my first year of university, and I love reading her blog!

Jessica, from Musings of an Underestimated Youth, who makes me laugh with almost every post that she writes.

Krista, from Awake and Dreaming, who is entirely inspirational and strong, and makes me smile and laugh.

Angela, from Craving Cupcakes, who makes me smile with each one of her posts.

Jess, from Not Your Average Joan of Archetypal Patterns, who makes the best damn pea comics I've ever seen!

Anyway, I smell like dust or chemical dust or something, for whatever reason... so I'm going to go shower and watch some Six Feet Under.

Toodles <3

OH!  OH!!!

I meant to tell everyone about three movies I've watched recently, that you should watch too... if you haven't seen them yet (Korea makes me really behind on things, movie wise).

1.  I Love You Phillip Morris:
This story was sheer insanity.  I can't believe what an amazing con artist this guy was!  I know, I know, you shouldn't applaud people's abilities to con others, but, jeeze, this guy deserves the title con ARTIST.  He made conning people INTO an art.

2.  Julie and Julia:
Yes, I am 302928487 years behind the times, but this movie was cute, and it made me smile... and I even shed a few tears, which is utterly ridiculous... but it was SUCH a good movie.

3.  The September Issue:
I LOVE VOGUE.  I will not deny it.  I get lost in the pages, it makes me feel all smiley when I get a new issue, and my mom even bought me a subscription to it once when I was in high school.  LOVE LOVE LOVE!  Anyways, as most people who love Vogue know, the September issue is the best issue of the entire year, and this documentary chronicles the making of the September issue in 2007.  It is so well done, and so interesting, I watched it twice in one day.  Oh, Vogue <3  Also, Anna Wintour seems really lonely, and I spent the whole movie feeling kind of bad for her, even thought I know I shouldn't.

Okies, toodles for real, now <3

Sunday, January 16, 2011


So, I finished my winter camp on Saturday (how lame is that, I had to teach on a Saturday!  I know the Korean teachers have to teach every second Saturday, but, jeeze, I'm not supposed to have to!  Stupid winter camp, making me work six days in a row...), and what a glorious finish it was!  And, by glorious, I mean utterly freezing.

Saturday was sports day... or, "Mini Olympics" day, as the schedule called it.  Needless to say, we were never really given any information about it.  All I was told was to "think of something to do."

Gee... thanks, that's helpful.

So, I planned on teaching dodgeball (total cop out, I taught it for my sports lesson each week) and red rover.

The night before, I realized that we would be pulling three school together, and that the kids wouldn't know each other's names.  Hell, the kids in my own class didn't even know each other's names.  Crap.  I needed to think of a solution, fast.

Taping numbers to kids!

That's right, I wrote numbers on paper, and taped them to my kids.

I also made them run laps because they weren't listening, and because they were all too cool to hold hands for red rover.

Oddly enough, they all held hands to run the laps.  My co-teacher thought that the game was to run in a circle and hold hands and see if you can catch the other team, I had to explain to her that running the laps was punishment.

I finally taught them red rover, which took a long ass time to explain, because, why listen, when you can talk to the person beside you and ignore the teacher teaching you a game that you don't know?  Korean kids DON'T LISTEN.  I seriously do not remember EVER being like this with any of my teachers, when they explained, we listened.  I think it's because the kids here don't consider the foreign teacher to be a real teacher, they think they don't have to listen because the Korean teachers are the real teachers, the ones they take orders and instruction from.

This was illustrated earlier in the camp in one instance in particular that stands out in my mind.  I was teaching the fashion unit to my home school, and I had given the kids twenty minutes to draw and describe their own style, and then I wanted to switch to them playing "Guess Who" because it would allow them to practice their new vocabulary words and forming yes or no questions with the words.  I explained the game to the kids, got them into their pairs, and let them go at it.

Five minutes into the game, my co-teacher came overt to me, and told me that she thought we should have the kids present their drawings to the class.  So, I told her that, if we have time, I will give them some more time to finish their drawings, and then they could present them, but I wanted them to do the game first.

Next thing I know, she turns to the class and tells them--in Korean--that they're going to have to present their drawings in front of the class.  the kids all panic, because they're not finished, and they abandon the game, where they are actually practicing useful things, and scramble to open their books back to their drawings.

I was pissed!  She completely undermined me!  I was the camp teacher, she was just there to help out, but, because she's Korean, her word is god, and what she says, the kids immediately do.

Entirely annoyed, I had to get the kids' attention AGAIN, had to yell at the to put down their pencils, and had to force them to go back to the game.  I then had to assure them that they would have more time to finish their drawings before they had to present them, but, right now, they should be doing the game.

After three minutes of coaxing and assuring them that they would have more time to draw (which is total bullshit, they were learning more from the game than from drawing), they finally all paired up again, and started playing.  That is, until one of my students finished the round she was on, got up from her partner, and then ran back to her book to finish drawing.  I was so entirely not impressed.

I walked over to her and told her that she should be playing the game, not drawing.  She looked at me, looked at the co-teacher, and then went back to her drawing.  I told her THREE MORE TIMES.  Put your pencil down, stop drawing, go back to your partner, play the game.  She would look at me, say "okay, teacher," look at my co-teacher, and go back to her drawing.

I then resorted to slamming my hand on the bell on the desk, to get everyone's attention, and shouting that no one should be drawing, that everyone should be playing the game and practicing the sentence.  At which point the girl got all upset, because I called her out in front of the class.

Seriously, this is what happens when a Korean teacher undermines you in your own camp that you are running, you are the constant asshole.  It's bullshit.  The kids don' listen to you, because you're not Korean, and then, when you finally get them to do what you want them to do, the Korean co-teacher tells them to do something different.

That was my last three weeks.  Kids not listening, being undermined by Koreans, headaches, getting two colds and two stomach flus.

Oh, yeah, the plan was to go out and celebrate my freedom after my stupid Saturday class, but I woke up feeling like crap, and by the time I got home, I had the flu.  I tried sleeping it off, and taking a shower... nothing.  It was awful.  And, by Sunday, it had turned into a cold.  So, now I have a shitty cold.  After just getting over another cold.  After getting over another cold right before that.  Joy.

Things that are not helping my mood:

The landlord controls the heat in my building.  We have control over how hot we can turn it, but he has control over the hours it is on.  It is on from ten at night to six in the morning.  So, my apartment is a freezing cold ice cube for sixteen hours a day, because the ondol in my apartment is so weak, that it doesn't heat up my house in the eight hours it is on.

I have no hot water in my kitchen.  Because it's so cold outside, and my apartment is cold inside all day long, the hot water pipe has frozen.  Luckily, I still have hot water in the bathroom.

Also, this week, I learned that the descriptors and identifiers that my ex-boyfriend used to describe me to his internet slut that he cheated on me with for at least two years are "ugly," "fat," and "has bad skin."  Thanks, asshole.  I don't understand how people can be so atrociously, disgustingly, rude and hurtful... especially to someone who did everything to make them happy, and who did everything for them.

I officially have a month and a half until I go home, and I only have to teach for ten more of those days... and, by teach, I mean that I will have to sit at my desk for ten days and literally do nothing, because I won't be here next semester, so I have nothing to prepare.  It shall be quite boring, that much I know for sure!

Anyway, I am hungry now, so I am going to go find something to eat!

Toodles <3

Friday, January 14, 2011


I've been super tired this week, and, thusly, my blog has been neglected.  Sorry!

This is my last week of winter camp (hurray!), and the kids I've had this week, have obviously decided that they want to try and kill me.  It's become very obvious.

The kids from my school were amazing, and I love them, the kids I had last week were really sweet and cute, the kids from my third school, this week... are devil children.

They knew they only had me as a teacher for three days, so they took advantage of it, and raised hell for all three of them.  Yesterday, I started teaching at 9 a.m., by 10, I already had a migraine and had started to lose my voice, by 10:30, I wished I had had a beer or seven for breakfast, and, by the time class was over, I just wanted to go home and sleep for an entire week.

Not only did they not listen to me, ever, they also talked LOUDLY through the entire class, ignored me entirely, would behave for two seconds before reverting back to being devil spawn, and they were little jerks.

Some of them were good, I had a few kids on my side who would yell at the rest to shut up, but, for the most part, they were little hellions.

I spent a good portion of my time yelling, tossing my book loudly on my desk, playing the clapping game to get them to pay attention, putting my hands on my head and giving them the death glare while I waited for all of them to follow suit and stop talking and put their hands on their heads, sighing loudly and sitting in my desk chair and staring at them while I waited for all of them to realize that I was mad and that they should stop talking, just leaving the classroom, threatening to take away the fun activities and make them write lines, separating all of the kids who were talking... I TRIED EVERYTHING.

Luckily, today was the last day that I had to teach just them, tomorrow, all three school come together for one large group game thing.  Each teacher has to come up with some games to teach, I'm going to do dodgeball and red rover... then, I don't have to teach again until the eighth of February, and, even then, I might not have class.

I seriously need a huge ass break after this.  Winter camp is brutal.  I think I might get another tattoo over break, I'm finishing up the design right now.

I will write something better this weekend, I promiseeeeeeeeee, right now I'm tired and just want to work on my deisgn.

Toodles <3

Monday, January 10, 2011

the time i found out that...

Iggy Pop lived down the street from me.

Yup, apparently Iggy Pop lives in a really shitty neighbourhood in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.  In a really crappy and decrepit house.  With living room furniture in his back yard.

Actually... that kind of is the image I have of how Iggy Pop WOULD be living.

Seriously, though, folks.  When I first moved to the city, I lived in this AWFUL basement suite with my sister.  Whilst walking to the grocery store one day, I walked by this house a block away from mine, and there was a dude mowing the lawn.  Not JUST mowing the lawn, no... but ALSO kicking apples that had fallen off of the tree in the neighbours yard, onto his lawn, underneath the lawnmower, and watching them burst into rotting apple goo, as he went along.  Also, he looked just like Iggy Pop, including the fact that he was not wearing a shirt.

So, shitbox house, destructive apple killing lawn mowing tendencies, no shirt, and he looks just like Iggy Pop.

There was no way he wasn't Iggy Pop.

I am only 3% sorry if you find this video offensive.

A few months later, the evil ex and I were walking by another house a few blocks away from mine, and it turns out that it was for sale... BY TOMMY LEE.

Ohmahgah, guys, Tommy Lee is a REALTOR now!  AND!!!!  I lived down the road from Iggy Pop.

I know what you're all thinking, WHY DID I EVER MOVE??

Mostly because my landlord was insane and tried to get us to move out by freezing us to death in the middle of a horrible Albertan winter.  That's a story for another time.

Toodles <3

Saturday, January 8, 2011

things that should make me happy...

So, this post is just going to be a mishmash of crap all flung together and mixed around a bit to LOOK like a blog post.  Now, tell me you love me!

I mean... I guess that's what mosts of my posts are anyways... am I ever REALLY coherent, anyways?

So, I'm going to start this off with two things that should make me happy, but have actually started to annoy me for whatever reason.

Firstly, I have lost a lot of weight this year.  I don't know how much, because I don't own a scale, and, I guess I'll figure it out when I get back to Canada, but, it's a substantial amount.  That makes me happy, and proud.  What DOESN'T make me happy is that most of my clothes no longer fit.  Like, really really don't fit.  As in, my co-teachers have started commenting on how bad my clothes look on me, and have started handing me websites as suggestion for where to buy clothes from.  As in, if I pull my pants out in front of me, without a belt on, all of them, save for four pairs of jeans--even pants that were way, way WAY too tight when I came here--stretch at least three inches out in front of me.  I have almost been pantsed on numerous times as a result of this.  Why does this not make me happy?  Because it means I have to spend a buttload of money on clothes when I get back to Canada.  At least I won't have to worry about my luggage being overweight, because I will apparently be leaving all of my clothes--save for a few items--here.

Secondly, I have amassed a ginormous amount of change and one dolla bills.  $38 in one dollar bills, and $38 in change, and growing.  Why does this annoy me?  How the hell am I going to get rid of $38 in change before I leave?  I'm carrying around a giant ziploc bag full of $38 in change like I am a crazy old lady.

On to other things, I'm going to share some recipes with you guys!

I apologize in advance that my recipes are not an exact science... I have this thing where I make crap up as I go along, so bear with me, and the fact that I use the phrase "to taste" a lot... and the fact that these recipes appear to be written by a rambling crazy person, which, I kind of am... or, actually am.

SHORT RIBS AND SAUERKRAUT (it sounds gross if you don't like sauerkraut, but it is actually AMAZING)

You can cook this in a large pot type o' situation, or, for best results, I use a crock pot... lots o' crock pot love goin' on right here!

Ingredients and directions!

About 1 to 1 1/2 pounds of boneless pork or beef short ribs, or even a pork loin or some kind of beef  roast cubed
Salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder for seasoning
2 tablespoons of margarine or butter

Season the meat, and then brown it on all sides in a pan.  For the love of jeebus, do not cook it all the way through, just brown it!

Things to throw into your crock pot/big ol' pot whilst browning the pork or beef:

4 or more (!  I'm part Ukrainian, there is no such thing as too much) cloves of minced garlic
2 diced onions
4 cubed potaters

Mix all that stuff together

Throw the beef or pork into the crock pot

Add salt and pepper to taste

Add a couple of dashes of Worcestershire (spelling???) sauce

Mix vigorously

Add 1 16-22 ounce jar, can, whateva, of sauerkraut WITH THE JUICE (IMPORTANT!!!!) over top of everything, and spread it all out

1 cup of beef broth

Cook on the lowest setting possible until the beef or pork is thoroughly cooked, and the potatoes are cooked all the way through (takes about 8 hours on the lowest setting in my crock pot)

If you want to speed up the cook time, partially boil the potatoes first!

Serve with sour cream to taste!  I love me some sour cream, so, I smother it in it... hehehe.

COTTAGE CHEESE NOODLE THINGY (this is a really technical name, you guys... for serious.  Actually, my dad's grandma used to make this for him when he was a kid, and then he made it for my sister and I when we were kids, and it is seriously my favourite food in the entire world, and I may make it once a week sometimes, and I can probably gorge on an entire pot of it all to myself and be all fat and rolly polly and happy forever even though I ate so much that I feel like barfing... boy, I bet you guys are glad you're still reading this!..  I have revealed too much about myself, now.)


Start boiling a pot of water to cook some noodles of your choice.  I enjoy the bowtie pasta, because it is fun as hell, or!  Oh my gosh!  Shell noodles!  I love how delicious things get stuck inside of the noodles!!  cook the noodles to desired doneness.

What to do while you are cooking your pasta:

Slice up some bacon, as much as you want.  It's easiest if you freeze the slab of bacon first, and then sit it on its side while you cut it up with a big sharp scary knife... serrated for extra pleasure.  You can wear a bag on your hand so that it doesn't get frostbite and fall off.

Dice up an onion!  OR!  Put an onion in a slap chop and repeat "You're gonna love my nuts!" over and over again while you beat the crap out of the onion!

Sautee the bacon until it is cooked through, but not crispy... you do NOT want crispy bacon for this.

Put the bacon to the side, and remove MOST of the drippings from the pan, leave some in to provide a little bit of flavour for the onions.

Melt a tablespoon of butter or margarine into the same pan, add the onions, and sautee until they are soft and delicious and cooked all of the way through!

Turn off the stove, and add the bacon to the pan that has the onions in it.

Drain the noodles.

Return them to the pot.

Dump the pan of bacon and onions into the pot.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Mix well.

Add as much cottage cheese as you would like!  See, my dad always put in a bit of cottage cheese, I, on the other hand, am a cottage cheese fanatic, and I shamelessly add tonnes and tonnes of cottage cheese to this recipe.  I like it all creamy and delicious, so, it's up to your tastes.


MY WINTER SALAD (I got bored and made this crap up one day after I bought too many pomegranates [is there such a thing?!] and I had to find something to do with them, other than sit in my room with a bucket of seeds, gorging myself.  This is a super pretty looking salad!)

Directions and ingredients!

Seeds of 1/2 of a pomegranate, removed from pomegranate
1 big cucumber, cut into quarters, and then cubed
A bunch o' cherry or grape tomatoes, halved
1 mandarin orange, peeled, pulled apart, and then the little sections cut into threes
Dried cranberries
Crumbled feta cheese
1/2 of a yellow pepper, diced up

Toss with a delicious salad dressing.

My favourites:

Kraft sundried tomato and oregano
Kraft roasted red pepper with parmesan

So, there's a few recipes for you!  I hope someone actually tries them out!  If you do, let me know how they work out.

Sorry my blog theme has been food, lately, haha.

Toodles! <3

Friday, January 7, 2011


So, I promise I'll write a real blog post tomorrow...

For now, here's this!

I have a remarkably small appetite.  It worries people.  But, here's the truth:

I FRICKIN' LOVE FOOD... I just don't eat when I'm depressed (which, unfortunately, has been most of the time, lately), I also hate cooking for just myself.

Korea has made me miss food.  Even food that I never thought I WOULD miss.  I can't get/make most of the food that I love here.  The ingredients are either too expensive, or they don't exist.

I am now about to compose a list of things that I plan on eating the second I get back to Canada!

Hold onto your seats, folks.

You will notice that the things most on my mind are bacon, cheese, gravy, and sour cream... it's sad, really... don't judge me!

Basically, this is a list of demands which I will subsequently hand to my mom upon my return.

What I plan on eating on the day I get back for dinner:

Nachos with extra cheese, taco meat, tomato, green pepper, onion, olives, salsa, sour cream, and guacamole

A piece of chocolate cake

A strawberry daiquiri

Things that will be consumed within the days afterwards:

209203930205298 extra large cups of Tim Hortons steeped tea with two cream and two sugar

439482304892020 Tim Hortons honey crullers and/or honey cruller Timbits

A baked potato sliced up, sprinkled with garlic powder, and mixed together with margarine, and then topped with copious amounts of cheddar cheese, real bacon bits, green onions, and sour cream

Tater tots (WTF?  I never even LIKED tater tots before I left, but now I crave them)

Gravy.  On everything.  Mashed potatoes, french fries, turkey, roast beef, roast pork, chicken, mutha effin' bread... for serious, I am having SERIOUS gravy withdrawals

BRUSSEL SPROUTS... tonnes and tonnes of Brussel sprouts... overcooked and slathered in margarine and salt and pepper

CHEESE.  Every kind of cheese in the world.  In my mouth.  All at once.

Christmas dinner, which I expect to be recreated by my mom, in full, replete with her turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and broccoli and cauliflower mushroom cheddar cheese bake (bahaha, demanding much?)

Ukrainian food: pyrohy, pedeshke (which I am sure I am spelling wrong) both baked in cream, holopchi with copious amounts of sour cream, and kielbassa... maybe even borscht with tonnes of sour cream

Tacos... beef tacos in pita bread, with tomatoes and lettuce and onions and cheese and cheese and cheese and sour cream and cheese and guacamole

Fajitas... delicious chicken fajitas with cheese and peppers and sour cream

A mutha effin' HUGE steak... with garlic fried mushrooms and onions

Cottage cheese noodle thingy.  This has no name, we just call it cottage cheese noodle thingy... because it is noodles, bacon, onions, cottage cheese, salt, and pepper.  So simple... so amazing

One of my dad's home made hamburgers... oh mah gah

Meatloaf!  With mashed potatoes and gravy and peas!

Friggin' salad, with ranch dressing!

REAL PIZZA, none of this Korean pizza junk... though, Alex and I did have some AMAZING pizza in the old downtown one day

A reuben!  One of my mom's reubens, or, like, friggin ten of 'em!  Two pieces of rye bread, tonnes of sauerkraut fried up with onion, corned beef, swiss cheese, and mustard... all toasted together... mmmm

Tomato soup with lots and lots of premium plus crackers and a Kraft singles grilled cheese with ham

Mushroom soup, with extra sliced up mushrooms cooked into it, and cheddar cheese grated into it, with lots and lots and lots of premium plus crackers, and a Kraft singles grilled cheese and ham

A mushroom bacon swiss burger from burger baron with fries and gravy

A mama burger with cheese and bacon from A&W with fries and gravy

KFC chicken, fries and gravy, potato salad, macaroni salad

This thing that's so easy to make in the slow cooker, it's just short ribs, potatoes, sauerkraut, onions, and some spices, cooked until everything is cooked through, and then you eat it smothered in sour cream

Stuffed mushroom caps, with shrimp and crab and lots of garlic butter, topped with too much mozzarella, and baked in the oven until goldeny goodness

Sausage, cheese, and crackers


My dad's chili

BBQ ribs, my mom's macaroni salad, roasted dill potatoes

Chicken Caesar salad with Renee's Mighty Caesar salad dressing

Chinese food... Canadian style Chinese food... lemon chicken, beef chow mein, beef and broccoli

Alphabits cereal

Steamed broccoli and cauliflower with cheeze whiz melted on it (don't judge me, jerks!)

Uhhhhh... that's all I can think of for now!  Feel free to make other suggestions.  Clearly I plan on having a coronary upon my return to Canada, judging by the list I've created.


A sandwich from Subway!

A Chicago style donair with cheese from Pita Pizazz


A strawberry, whipped cream, and chocolate crepe from Crepeworks

Pepsi slurpees and a mix of 5 cent candies from 7-eleven


Cream soda