Thursday, November 17, 2011

how not to get a girl...

... on a dating site.

No, really guys, I joined a dating site.

Not plentyoffish, I tried that shit out in Korea, and it ended badly... "you have nice eyes, wanna fuck?" is not a great pick up line.

Not to say that the dating site I joined doesn't have its creepers, 'cause it does, but, the guys, overall, seem to be a lot better... so far.

I've gone on a few successfulish dates, kinda.  No one's run away from me after walking in the door, yet, so that's a bonus.  Nothing has really come out of said dates, though, so, that's pretty lame.



Anyway, I have another date this Saturday, we're going to a concert, so, we shall see how that goes.

Moving on!

Obviously, being a dating site and all, this site is not without its share of weird people.  And, as we all know, unfortunately, weird people flock to me.  So, I shall use these weird people as an example of how NOT to get a girl:

How not to get a girl:

Make your screen name BRUTALIZER.  I have removed the numbers from this guy's name to "protect" his identity, but, seriously...  how does any girl send you a message with that name?  No one wants that.

How not to get a girl:

Send "ching ching" as your first message, and then, when I don't respond, send "wazup pale girl" as your second message

How not to get a girl:

Be a creepy stalker.  Example:

Boy: Hi there! I know I don't have any good pics up yet, I'm gonna try and get some up tomorrow and my profile says im in montreal but im moving to edmonton soon, i just gotta work up the energy to actually change it :p, but I came across your profile and you seem like a pretty awesome girl, not to mention darn cute :p. So I'd love the chance to talk and get to know to know you better, hope to hear back :)

Me: It's a lot of work changing things on the interwebs. It's awesome that you are in Montreal!

Boy: it's so cold here! any chance of you coming to keep me warm

Me: It snowed here last night, unless you guys have snow out there, I win the "cold" war

Boy: ... I did say I'm in Edmonton right? Cause if not I'm in Edmonton

Me: You said you were moving to Edmonton soon

Boy: Haha my bad. So now that I'm in Edmonton wanna come cuddle?

Me: It's pretty cold out there, and I'm already warm in my apartment...

Boy: Where you live? Text me 780 *** ****

To myself: I have sent this dude all of four messages, and now he's asking where I live? *ignore*  Also, he doesn't seem to remember where he lives...

Few hours go by

Boy: Guess not

Next day

Boy: So ignoring me now?

Few hours go by with about seven more messages about how I'm ignoring him

Boy: no? not going to dignify me with a response?

Me: Dude, chill... I'm at work, and I've been working on a lot of assignments for school in the past few days, not to mention the fact that I've been sick...

How not to get a girl:

Don't send me a bunch of messages every single day for a week if I didn't respond to your first message.  I'm not going to respond to you if I'm not interested in you.  Honestly, I have zero obligation whatsoever to respond to your messages, I don't send anyone else 18309573945820 messages if they didn't respond to my first message, I move on... you should, too!

How not to get a girl:

Have a really boring profile.  If your profile talks about how boring you are ,and how boring your life is, and how boring people find you... maybe you should be making personal improvements before trying to find someone else to drag into your circle of boredom.  Seriously.  Why would I write back to someone whose profile convinces me that this person is ridiculously boring?

How not to get a girl:

Be an asshole.

This comes out of a couple of dates that I went on with one guy, actually.  He seemed really cool, we connected, we had a lot of fun together, things seemed good.  Until, of course, I found out that he was an asshole.  In all fairness, I guess, he did TELL me he was an asshole every time I told him he was sweet.  I guess that should have been a red flag?  Either way.  Just don't be a dick.  Don't tell me you want one thing, just because you figure it's what I want to hear.  Be honest.  Don't be a liar and an asshole.  For serious.

Moving on!

Hopefully my date this Saturday goes well, I'm kind of excited for it.  The guy seems really nice, so, hopefully there's a connection!

Anywhoodles, off to do some homework!

Toodles, lovelies <3

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