One time, I was mildly inebriated and out at a bar with some people. Hah, one time... Anywhoodles, this Ed Hardy wearing, frosted tip having, fake tan coated dude came up to me, and proceeded to hit on me while I was trying to buy a drink.
I tried to shrug him off, he was kind of a weirdo, he kept talking about "fags," it was really obnoxious.
He asked me if I wanted to do some shots.
He asked me if I wanted to go outside for a smoke.
I declined... plus, I don't smoke.
He asked me if I wanted to dance.
He asked me if I wanted to do a lot of things.
I declined. Over and over again, I declined. He did not get the friggin' hint, I wanted nothing to do with him.
Until, he did get the hint.
And then, he did the unthinkable... he called me a cunt.
At which point, I flipped shit on him. Why, exactly, was I a cunt for not being interested in his sparkley shirt wearing ass? Why was I a cunt for politely declining his advances? I could have laughed in his face, I could have told him to fuck off, I could have done a lot of things... but I didn't! I was ENTIRELY polite to him! So, why, EXACTLY was I a cunt?
Him and his ego did not enjoy being bitched out by a girl in front of all of the other people in the bar... which was occupied with a large amount of his Ed Hardy sporting brethren, so, he called me a "fucking bitch" and turned to walk away.
I was so friggin' pissed off at this point, that the only thing I could think of to yell back at him was: "WHY DON'T YOU GO BEDAZZLE YOUR SHIRT A LITTLE MORE, LIBERACE IS ONLY -ALMOST- JEALOUS OF YOUR RHINESTONE ENCRUSTED GLITTER TIGER!"
Turns out, shot drinking, Ed Hardy wearing, fake tan coated, frosted tip having douches don't know who Liberace is... and my insult was entirely lost on him. Because, he turned around and gave me this pissed off/confused look and said "the fuck?" and then walked away.
I thought it was clever : (
So, this blog was going to end there ^, but, I just had to share with you this little interchange that just occurred.
Firstly, I have to mention that I'm packing, and that my room is a total mess, things are not where they belong. I'm mentioning this, because, if I don't, the first part of this story makes me sound like someone with an alcohol dependency. Which... I'm not.
Anyways, I was napping. Because I'm productive.
I have a tendency to sleep on the very edge of my bed, which, doesn't make any sense, because it also results in me having a tendency to fall out of my bed. But, it's just what I do.
Some people are bed hogs, I am apparently the opposite.
SO! I was napping, and my head lulled to the side, and fell off my pillow, and I ended up hitting my head on a bottle of rum.
Seeeeee, that's where it sounds like I'm an alcoholic.
I do NOT normally have a bottle of rum by the head of my bed. It just ended up there in the midst of packing madness.
Anyhow, after potentially injuring my face, I rolled over to look at my computer to see what time it was. And I noticed I had a message in my inbox on Facebook.
From none other than the evil ex.
Just a music video:
No words, nothing. Just that music video.
What the eff, evil ex??
It made me wish that there WAS a reason for the bottle of rum by my bed that I hit my head on...
So, annoyed by his antics, I decided to be just as douchey and send him these two videos:
So, yes, it's totally dorky to send someone Justin Timberlake, but, still... ENOUGH, DUDE! You screwed up, HORRIBLY, now deal with it.
He's only doing this A) because it's Valentine's Day on Monday and B) I'm going to be home in two weeks.
Anyways, I just ate two pomegranates, and now I have a tummy ache, so I'm going to lay down and watch a really crappy movie.
Toodles, loves <3