Thursday, December 30, 2010

today is not a happy day...

I am incredibly irritable today.

There are probably a lot of reasons why.

R contacted me a few days ago.  Apparently he still loves me, and still thinks about me all of the time, and he hates himself for killing the relationship that we had, and he wishes he could prove himself to me, that we could be happy again.

I told him that there will never be a him and I again, because there will always be an H and him... and a him and every other girl.

He told me that he hates her and that she's ruining his life and that he thinks she's a dirty whore and that he wants to rid his life of her... but I've heard it all before.  He's a compulsive liar who lies to get what he wants, and she's just as bad as him.  He tried to tell me he rarely talks to her, which I know is a complete lie.

Anyways, so... there has been talking going on there, which has made me upset, and I broke down and cried for half an hour today because of it, and then ended up falling asleep for two hours.  Now I have a tummy ache.

I love napping, but I get sick from it.  I get the worst stomach aches as a result of it.

also, I just want to take a hot shower and go to bed, but, oh!  Lucky me, there's no effing hot water in my apartment, and the floor heating isn't working again.

Please, will someone make Korea work properly again, I can't handle this crap.  I live in apartment, I should have hot water and working ondol!

Please, can I just go back to my parents' house now?

Also, it is snowing.  My house is cold, I have no hot water to take a shower, R won't go away, and it is snowing.


I want to curl up and die.


  1. No dying. I'm sorry he's haunting you from afar. The grass is always greener. I'm glad your relying on us instead of him in this time of need. He sounds like a douche. And you deserve to have a good someone all to yourself. Why not go visit with a friend for the weekend. I mean, they must understand the problems with heating are clear grounds for fun American sleep over! wooo-hooo!

  2. I agree with above, giant douche. I think next time maybe just don't respond or if you see his email/phone number just delete/don't answer so then you don't even have to know all the bullshit lies he was going to tell. Go have fun with your friends, have a night out or go buy yourself a pretty blanket and a nice fluffy towel!

  3. It sounds like you need a good, old fashioned, chick flick vacation somewhere in europe or asia!
    Since most of us can't afford that, though... perhaps turning off all contact with the outside world, grabbing a few friends, and starting the new years champagne train early?
    Cheer up soon :)

  4. Ugh, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine no hot water. I'm sending you a mental hug all the way from here, hopefully it warms you up a bit.

  5. It might be important to make the distinction that it's not necessarily that you won't be w/ him because he's w/ H... but because he showed no respect for you, hurt you, trapped you, mistreated you, abused you, and doesn't deserve a meaningful relationship with any human being. You know? He can't fix all that, by swearing off of H. That won't change what he did and he cannot be given another chance to ruin your life.

    I'm sorry you're having such a cruddy day. :( I slid off the road, but even then my day was better than yours. I hope tomorrow holds many surprise blessings for you!

  6. Thankfully, new years eve festivities took my mind off of the giant douche. And! I got my hot water back, so I got to take a GLORIOUS shower before I went out, thank goodness. I never want to have no hot water EVER AGAIN!

    I can't believe you slid off the road! That's so scary! I hope you're okay!

  7. Hi honey,

    1. please don't die- Boys and snow are never worth death.
    2. Maybe make some hot cocoa- or some korean hot beverage?
    3. I know it is difficult when people from your past reappear, but sometimes it helps to make short nasty lists about that person to remind yourself what you are NOT missing.

    You're worst quality was_______________.
    I hated the way you___________________.
    You were never very good at__________.
    ___________ is how you make me feel, and ____________ is how i'll never let you make me feel again.

    Hope it helps sweets :)


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