Wednesday, December 22, 2010

i wanna stuff your stocking...

So, my friend Zach, and I came up with the most amazing new Christmas song EVER last night!  He was drunk, I was entirely sober.  It was still awesome to me this morning, and he liked it even better sober... GO TEAM AWESOME!

You're going to thank me for sharing this with you... also, I think I have typhoid from the clam from last night, so I'm too lazy to write a real blog post... because I'm dying.  Hypochondria <3

So, first, in order to get the tune, please watch this (why, yes, that IS sexy nude Abraham Lincoln being bathed by other Abraham Lincolns):


So, clearly, our song is set to the tune of "Gay Bar" by Electric Six.

Now, for the fun part!

Here's our Christmas version, a collaborative effort of superhuman awesomeness:

Girl!
I wanna drink your eggnog,
I wanna drink your eggnog,
I wanna drink your eggnog,
eggnog, eggnog.

Let's get some rum, get some spiced rum,
For your eggnog, eggnog, eggnog.
Waah,
For your eggnog.

Now tell me, do ya, a do ya have any eggnog?
I wanna drink all your eggnog,
Drink all your eggnog, eggnog, eggnog.

I've got something for your stocking,
I've got something for your stocking,
I've got something for your stocking,
And it's eggnog, eggnog, eggnog.
Hah!

Drink all your eggnog
With my spiced rum.
Drink all your eggnog
With my spiced rum.
Drink all your eggnog
With my spiced rum.
Your eggnog.
Your, your eggnog.

Feel free to sing this to everyone you know this year.  It's perfect for office parties, especially if accompanied by inappropriate dance moves... like pelvic thrusting, and dressing like a half nude Abraham Lincoln wearing a Santa hat on top of his top hat, and a red banana hammock with white fur trim!

You're welcome! <3

P.S.  there is a mother effing mosquito in my apartment.  Yes, it is December twenty friggen second, and THERE IS A MOSQUITO IN MY APARTMENT!  GO AWAY, YOU VILE BEAST!

7 comments:

  1. That's an awesome version certainly made from superhuman awesomeness! Hey, you should check out my blog. There's this Christmas song that makes me LOL me every time I listen to it. :)

    witcherry.blogspot.com

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  2. Just found your blog and i'm glad i did. That song is awesome. And its already stuck in my head. Thanks a ton for that :P. Going to sleep with the image of a half naked lincoln in my head. That cannot be good. If I dream of 3 nude lincolns bathing each other, I'm blaming you. :P

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  3. okay first? mosquitoes are THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. hate. them.

    second. that song and your festive alternative lyrics will now be stuck in my head for 6.78 weeks. :P

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  4. Ahahahahahahaha, this is priceless! Ohmygod. You guys are just too funny.
    I've got something for your stocking, and it's eggnog, eggnog, eggnog. Hah! I dieeeeeeee!

    xo
    Sealverland

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  5. Haha, mission accomplished... now everyone shall have songs about eggnog stuck in their heads, and have dreams about half naked Lincoln.

    The

    I've got something for your stocking,
    I've got something for your stocking,
    I've got something for your stocking,
    And it's eggnog, eggnog, eggnog.
    Hah!

    part of the song is my favourite part, too, haha

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  6. Looove it! Writing song words is such a fun pastime, yes, even when sober!

    A mosquito? are you sure you aren't in minnesota? ;)

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  7. Haha, we had fun with it!

    You guys still have mosquitoes in Minnesota right now?? I thought Minnesota was just like Canada and you guys got a crap tonne of snow!

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