Wednesday, August 4, 2010

oh dear...

I promise I have not forgotten my dear blog.  I do, in all actuality, think of you every day.  I really do.  I can admit it, though, I'm just too lazy.  It's hot here, and humid... like nothing I have ever experienced before, and I am suffering from a decidedly smashed to bits heart.  All I really feel like doing is sitting on my bed, with the air con on, and possibly crying for most of the day.  Healthy, I know.

For real, though, the temperature each day is at least 30 degrees Celsius, and the humidity never drops below 90%... it feels like it's a million degrees.  As soon as I go outside, I start sweating, and not just a little sweat, but rivers of sweat.  At least I'm not a stinky sweaty person.  It's horrid, though.  It makes beach days a godsend, provided I remember the proper sunscreen and clothing and such.  I get to be the crazy girl that wears a jacket to the beach in thirty degree weather.

Speaking of the beachee!  I slept there last Friday, it was glorious.  Friday was my last day of summer camp (oh, the horrors), and, in order to celebrate the beginnings of glorious summer vacay, we went to Mosageum beach, which is a really lovely beach, and we ate on the beach, my friends got drunk on the beach, I soberly watched their drunken antics on the beach, we set up our tents on the beach, and then we spent the night on the beach.  Oh, how lovely.  Except for the million mosquito bites that I contracted without realizing it.  It was worth it, though, it was a fantabulous time.  Nothing really beats sleeping on the beach with ocean waves less than ten feet from your tent.  Korea <3

My tattoo is healing up nicely, I shall post a picture from like two days after I got it done:

It doesn't look all red and gross anymore.  Thank goodness.  I still can't believe it took two and a half hours to complete.  Yoy.

My summer camp was a total shit show.  Oi vay.  It was all of the kids who know little to no English, and I was supposed to have a co-teacher to help me out with the whole thing, because of their lack of English communication skills, and, well, let's face it... how much Korean do I really know?  Basically nothing.  Not enough to communicate with them, anyways.  The school board graciously refused to pay for me to have a dedicated co-teacher for my camp, so, I was basically left to my own devices.  I spent weeks planning this friggin camp that I knew would not work without the help of a co-teacher, and then, the Friday before the camp was to start, they told me I wouldn't have a real co-teacher.  Joy.  The English teacher in charge of me volunteered to help me out for the first week, but, she was rarely there, and for the second week I had a revolving door of Korean teachers who didn't know English and would only come into the classroom once or twice in the whole four and a half hours... who could blame them, they weren't getting paid.  Eff.  The kids refused to use any English, they didn't want to listen to me, and they just talked through every single thing I tried to do with them.  It was a long ass two weeks.  I thought I was going to lose my mind.  The crafts went over well, so did watching Finding Nemo, and, one day, I just broke down and showed them Spongebob Squarepants for half an hour (and I HATE that show).  Anything to do with the English activities I had planned was ignored, none of the kids wanted to do anything but mess around.  Gah.  I'm just glad it's over.  I have one more week of summer camp that I volunteered to do for extra pay, and three weeks of vacation.

I have officially given up on whatever semblance of a relationship I had with Rick.  Yes, I believe it is actually over now.  I guess when everything is going amazingly well, when you start making plans for a life together for when you get back from Korea, when someone tells you they love you more than anything and that they want to spend their life with you and that they can't imagine their life without you, and then two days later they break up with you, for no reason, through a facebook message (after three goddamn years together), it honestly shows how little they loved you or cared about you.  I mean, everything else he's done to me should have proven how much he loved me or cared about me, but... I think I've given up all hope, now.  My heart is broken into a thousand pieces, and it's hard to make it through the day a lot of the time, but I guess I just need to move on.  It's hard right now to imagine a future for myself, imagine that anyone else will ever love me, but I just hope it will happen one day.  I guess I'll be moving to Calgary alone when I get back to Canada.  It just blows my mind that someone who so vehemently claims to love me and want a future with me, that someone would make plans for a life together with me, could possibly be so cruel and care so little about me.  But that's just the selfish son of a bitch that he is and, really, has always been.  I deserve better, and I really hope I will find someone better someday.  Right now it just really hurts.  All I know is, it's time to let go.  I can't hold on to someone who treats me like my life is a game.

Anyways, enough complaining.  I've passed the five month mark here, it's crazy, only seven more months to go, I can't believe it.  Maybe I'll come back again after I finish my teaching degree... or maybe I'll be on my way to having a life and a family with someone.  Who knows!  I'll try and make an effort to write more often.  Here's a picture of how humid it has been here lately:

The camera doesn't capture the humidity all too well, I suppose.

Anywhoodles, toodles, all!  I'm off to bed!

No comments:

Post a Comment

please leave me some love <3